Over the last few months I have been doing really well (well for me anyway, it's all relative). However over the last week I kind of hit a wall. When you are merrily moving along through life at a constant and predictable level of pain it always surprises you when you have a blip. I think it is sometimes harder to cope with pain when you haven't experienced that higher level in a while. When you let yourself relax and start to believe that what you are doing every week is going to be possible in the long term and start to make plans, it is harder to cope with when you are reminded that nothing can be taken for granted.
This week hit me very hard. The pain levels I have had this week are nowhere near what I have had to cope with in the past but I have found it much harder to cope because the pain levels had been so stable. I had several days when I couldn't face doing patchwork because that involved thinking and the pain was interfering with that. So to cope with the pain I dug out my long lost blanket. The blanket is made up of lots of squares, many of which are very simple to knit, and I can slip into the meditative state that knitting without thought induces in me.
This blanket has been ignored for far too long so I worked out what I needed to do in order to finish it. I have made a note of all the squares I need to produce in order to complete the blanket and it is not that many. I have made the decision to work only on the blanket squares when I am knitting in public. I will take the blanket squares as my outside the house knitting. The squares are portable, require not that much thought and quite often I can get a square done in a knitting group session.
By restricting my public knitting to this one project I hope to get the blanket finished before the end of the cold weather. I stopped knitting the blanket last year when it got too hot, so hopefully I can get it finished before that happens again.
In the meantime I will allow myself to knit what I like at home to keep me challenged. That is if there is time left over after I finish my patchwork homework each week. It seems to be taking up lots of my time.